District Bikeways, or "The obstacle course"

It looks like DC is finally looking to make moves on District bikeways just in time for the transit bill to take away local control of bike-ped funds. Yay timing!

Let me drop you some knowledge about biking in DC. It's not great. The District has received a lot of attention recently for its increasingly bike-friendly policies coming down the proverbial pipes, but the experience includes plenty of indirect routs, unprotected bike lanes, disjointed bikeways and drivers that are largely uneducated on right-of-ways and, on average, very bad at driving.

DC Metro Voices

The voices of train operators on the DC Metro system are one of my favorite parts of District life. Half of the time you will get a run-of-the-mill conductor, but the other 50% includes apparent guest appearances by Sylvester Stallone, Dustin Hoffman, Keanu Reeves, Jack Nicholson, Jason Statham and many more!

A fellow redditor had the foresight to turn on his video camera recently. This conductor is still one of my favorites.... (wait for it)



And another....

DC Metro Blue Line Announcer by gfesteves

"Redline"

In the 9 months since I moved to DC, I have never - not once - managed to catch the connecting REDLINE train towards Glenmont at Metro Station, though I have on rare evenings such as this brushed the sliding doors with my fingertips as they closed on my hopes and slipped away into the darkness once again.

"17 MIN".

One day....

Eastern Market Vendor Apps, or "Make Dat Money"

Eastern Market is accepting applications from farmers for its new open-air farmers’ market that will be held on Tuesdays from 3pm – 7pm. The deadline for submitting applications is set for May 1. For those of you who have mentioned wanting to expand your hobbies into an actual small business here in DC (or know people who are thinking about it), this could be a decent opportunity. It sounds like the list is growing, but now overcrowded yet since it's a new market schedule.

Here's the application. The fee is only $35 for the Tuesday evening market, but the deadline is coming up soon. More info below, or see the full notice here.

“We are thrilled to expand the outdoor market’s operations to Tuesday afternoon and look forward to reviewing applications from local farmers and vendors,” said Brian Hanlon, Acting Director of the Department of General Services, the District agency that manages the market. “As a Capitol Hill resident, Eastern Market holds a special place in my heart and I am looking forward to enjoying fresh, local groceries from a new farmers’ market at one of my favorite historic establishments in the District.”

Eastern Market management is currently accepting new farmers for the weekday market only. Farmers must be third-party certified and be a regionally-based grower or farmer. The application can be found at www.easternmarket-dc.org. Successful applicants will be expected to sell every Tuesday under the outdoor farmers’ line shed beginning in June of this year.

You can also visit the home page of our website, www.easternmarket-dc.org, to download.  Applications need to be postmarked by May 1, 2012. A non-refundable application fee applies to each application.

Sunset over P Street

Thanks to mazzbazzle for this image (r/washingtondc)

Twin Peaks San Francisco Sunrise (HDR time-lapse) from Chad Richard on Vimeo.

Thank to Eliot Chang for sharing this!

"You are wrong, and I don't know what you're talking about" (Part III)

For the next few weeks I moved the X-Wing frequently so that it would not even be on a street being checked each day. I printed my receipt for the DMV appointment and taped it to the inside of my windshield next to the note requesting pity from SF parking enforcement. And then the day arrived.

The DMV is an incredible place that seems to be a a strange timewarp-delay of 20 years, no matter the decade. The technology in this office was clearly a product of the 1990s including large projection televisions with static, MSDOS running on nearly every computer monitor, massive copy machines, and a 4-foot stack of boxes filled with staples. I could see that the desktop behind the counter closest to me had an extension for zip-drive disks. Everyone was dressed in plaid or bright pastel blouses.

Everyone has to come here at some point. The DMV is one of those pieces of the American experience that still unifies the public with a shared identity and nemesis (read, "nation building"). And it has a remarkable capacity to strip even the most determined individual of the reason and patience they might exhibit in all other aspects of their life, so that you inevitably find yourself sputtering half-conceived nonsense in protest of just about everything. A line stretched out of the front door, everyone appeared to be either angry or anxious, and only 2 of the 30 windows showed any sign of activity. How this widespread phenomenon has persisted against all probability since Man first had to register the first wheelbarrow with his tribal accountant, I will never know. But I am certain that if we could make citizens at the DMV feel loved and appreciated, the quality of our entire political culture, national democracy and positive views of government would increase a hundred fold.

45 minutes later my number was called over the loudspeaker. I approached Window#19 with deep breaths and explained my predicament one more time. And then something new, and sweet, and unexpected happened.

"Oh, wow. That sucks. We should probably apologize for that."

"Oh my, is that.... is that an apology?"

"No, it was an observation."

"Oh," I considered. "Well, would you like to apologize then?"

He thought for some time. "Um, yeah, OK." And just like that, he turned back to his green-text computer screen to finish processing my request, his cheeks undoubtedly blushing behind his frightening scraggly beard.

I felt vindicated and light of heart. Within moments this man had produced for me the registration for which I had longed for so many months. With the X-Wing's legal recognition in hand, I left the crude place and pranced forth into the sunlight with great hope. I could now drive without risking arrest, and my misunderstood offenses would be forgiven. I was vindicated, and I was free.

Briefly.

Urban Art, "Ads can be art too!"

Everyday I am bombarded with advertisements and messages that make me want to buy things (or sometimes not buy things). On my way to work, on my way to the other bus, on my way to City Hall, on my way to the PUC, on my way to the wonderful Turkish kebab shop next to Burger King on Market, on my way home, and while I am sitting still in my chair trying to find information about risk management best practices and public financing. And it sucks.

But sometimes, an ad actually grabs my attention in spite of my best anti-capitalist efforts. Perhaps it is just part of living in a dense city, but it makes me want to carry a camera everywhere I go to capture the failures or absurdities of urban marketing. These are part of my everyday life.

Ellis & Market

Quote of the day, or Goat Proletariat

Excerpt from the comment section of a Berkeleyside news article this morning, “Goats reduce fire hazards in the Berkeley hills”:

"In an Animal Farm analogy, the 600 goats should become conscious of the fact that a handful of humans and a few guard dogs are exploiting and enslaving them for their own profit and benefit.  As the vanguard of the proletariat, we in Berkeley should sow dissension among the goats, support revolutionary goat liberation and foment the overthrow of "Farmer Jones."  The exploitation and mistreatment of these proletariat goats has already been documented locally."

"You are wrong, and I don't know what you're talking about" (Part II)

Several days later, the Ante was upped to $180 with a third citation in less than two weeks time. I printed the receipt from my online renewal and taped it to my windshield with a plea to stop issuing tickets. I moved my car frequently so that it was not even on the same street as the parking officers on their daily routes. I submitted a formal protest to SFMTA and assured them that my registration would update in March. "I have an appointment," I pleaded. "They're going to give me me new tags because the old ones just never came." I was skipping lunch for this :/

"Mmm hmmm, so they never came...4 months ago? Whadya been doin' since 4 months ago, hmmm?"

"Trying to get them!"

She scoffed. "I don't think the DMV would do that to you."

"You are wrong, and I don't know what you're talking about" (Part I)

The California Department of Motor Vehicles gave me an early birthday present this year, validating our long unspoken love for one another. But we will get to that.

In October of 2010, the registration for my 1999 Silver Volvo V70 station wagon with turbo and spoiler(yeah!) was scheduled to expire. As often happens in the case of responsible and modern law abiding citizens, the registration was updated, fees were paid, and a receipt of my online activities was delivered to my inbox. The experience was unnecessarily complicated, but no more so than filing the forms in person. The Renewal Notice and instructions thanked me for following the law, and suggested that I allow up to 8 weeks for my Registration Tags to be delivered. And so passed without my consideration, the first of several mythic signs of things to come.

When it rains in June

"...Wesley Crusher."

“What the fuck are you talking about?!” bellowed the woman in stalkings as rain poured down around us. I should have seen that coming.

----------------- 

A tropical depression made it pour today, which just goes to show you that the San Francisco weather god has it in for us. Weird things happen when it rains here in June, and people don’t seem to know what to do with themselves. Two days ago it was beautiful and warm and college kids filled the Park for Alice’s Summerthing after the Pride Parade, but now citizens that had for months mastered the art of dressing for this City’s fickle winter weather strode about grappling with their coats and upturned umbrella’s.

Three o’clock rolls around and my eyes are about to fall out of my head because I’m stuck in an office with two flickering halogen bulbs and a full-spectrum lamp as bright as the sun (which I guess was the point, in retrospect). My left hand is soar from repeating the same keystrokes for 5 hours, and I pulled a muscle in my leg while attempting funky office stretches to stay awake :| Time for coffee.

I grab my jacket and frown because it isn’t a coat. Of course I did not plan on it raining today – because it’s June 28^th and it should be hot by now! – but my coworker offers me her “oversized umbrella”. I happily accept the gift and prance happily out of the office into the damp air.

-----------------

Ah, sipping warm coffee by a full-length rain-speckled window listening to weird Starbucks jazz, how I have missed you. I watch as a man in an expensive pinstriped grey suit and Oakleys in the rain gestures like a magician as part of some elaborate story he is telling to a very cold and wet woman in a purple dress. 

"Hey, what the hell are you doing here?!" My regular barista shouts to me across the cafe. "Don't you have to be at work or something?"

"I work for the government," I retort dismissively, returning my curious attention to the couple. "We don't work, we just drink coffee. Doesn't matter where I do it." . . . . 

Street Art

San Francisco has an incredible Art Commission, but compared to other cities like Seattle or Boston, San Francisco has a fairly limited public art program. The smallest detail of a public art project can become a divisive political battle leading to countless public hearings, sabotage and conspiracy theories. Such is the civic culture of this city. (At least they're engaged, right? ... ...right??) But a vacuum attracts content, especially when it is surrounded by activists, culture, media, hippie artists and resources.

Over the past several years, more and more private displays (especially guerilla art) have cropped up across the foggy city in areas bountiful with flat surfaces but lacking in advanced color schemes. It's become a sort of pastime of mine to record some of my favorites. Here's a teaser sample below.

Le Enchante Cafe @ 26th & Geary

Langton Labs @ Howard & Langton, SF

Quote of the Day, or No fish for you

"Sometimes the supes act on the commission's recommendations, such as when they approved a ban on declawing cats. And sometimes they don't, such as when the animal panel suggested introducing birth control pills into birdseed to solve the city's pigeon problem."

The Board of Supervisors is preparing to consider legislation to ban the sale of gold fish in San Francisco. Seriously. The new ordinance would prohibit the sale of certain pets within the City limits in an effort to curb animal abandonment. The idea is that small cute animals are more vulnerable to "impulse buying" and consequently higher levels of discarding when owners get bored. San Francisco's Animal Control and Welfare Commission this week renewed its push for a pet sale ban after a year-long study cute animal sales, and its recommendations will appear before the Board in the coming weeks.

Rollerblade group at Powell BART Station

Some pretty fun antics go down in San Francisco at late hours. I was trying to find Pandora Karaoke Bar last Friday when I came across this flashmob of rollerbladers, skaters, skate boarders and people on various wheeled devices. An announcer was challenging more and more of them to make it down the escalators on their wheels, and one guy not only accepted but jumped over 4 people laying side-to-side and made it down the escalator backwards.



Does anybody know what group this is that rides around SF late at night? Props to them. (risk management lag!)

Urban Artwork: Mission (Lower 24 St.)

Cities develop an identity based, in part, on their expression of culture - and what is a more clear expression of this culture than crazy SF street art! San Francisco prides itself on an eclectic hodgepodge of identities - ethnicities, icons, sexualities, religions and mix of a dozen other factors - and the meeting of these forces manifests in anything from guerrilla art to coordinated public street projects. And these displays are not always where you would expect them.

Over the last ten months I've begun documenting some of my favorites in and around my city, and I'll be sharing a  sample over the next few weeks.

Mural on an apartment on 24th St. and Alabama in the Mission District

Take the murals of the Mission District that my program toured last Fall (around 24th and Folsom to Potrero) as the first example. They're neat, eh? And colorful? Indeed. But they are also woven into the history and identity of the neighborhood. We met with Erick Aronello of the Lower 24th Street Merchant & Neighbors Association and a handful of his colleagues, who explained the work and mission of his group within the greater context of the community. It is an unusual mix of neighborhood groups, local businesses and non-profit organizations (mostly arts, housing, job placement and family services) that sit on the board. It partners with organizations like LISC, the Market Planning Initiative, SF Planning Department, DPW and a dozen others on common services and special projects (such as creating and maintaining sanctioned murals). The Lower 24th MNA is only about 11 years old, but it formed at a critical moment and out of an immediate need within the community to resolve a history of residential and commercial conflicts that had stalled, and in some cases stopped altogether, the redevelopment and revitalization of this once flourishing neighborhood.

The recent history of the Lower Mission is an outstanding, though often tragic example of how the many variables of urban life play into each other in San Francisco. Once a predominantly Irish neighborhood with a  growing Latino population, the economic power of the Mission was in many ways upended during the construction of BART in the late 1960's to 1970s. They Bay Area Rapid Transit rail system had long been hailed as the next generation in regional transportation (replacing the Keys System of surface electric rail cars) and the project began with local and national fanfare. But when it came to urban planning, someone dropped the ball. In order for the underground rail lines to be laid, most of the Mission corridor was excavated and closed for several years without proper consulting or relocation of local businesses. There was inadequate public and pedestrian transportation along the route, and over time these businesses were forced to close. By the time BART construction was finished in the mid 1970s it was a different neighborhood, both demographically and financially.

The neighborhood saw a surge in gang violence and the homeless population during the 1980s, and with this change came an inflow of drugs and organized crime. After a series of arson cases and violent murders in 1997-1998, the neighborhood began to seriously resist despite little cooperation from the City's police and local merchants. Residents lobbied the City for more public lighting and financial assistance, cut down trees at their own initiative to increase exposure from streetlights, and formed several ad hoc neighborhood watch and community programs. Many merchants were wary to get involved, concerned that they would lose the protections offered by local gangs. There were still tensions among the activists about the role that the SFPD could play in the neighborhood, and the community ultimately lacked enough resources to make these efforts lasting...

Persistent, or "There's Still Sun in the Park!"

Incredibly, I am still determined to bike to work every day. Part of this, I am sure, is the sudden and wonderful turn of weather up here in the City. It has been uncharacteristically warm for over a week now, and I am trying to take advantage of every photon before the fog finds its way home, and I sulk back into the regular crowds and bus lines.

Thousands of people seem to have the same idea. As I rode home at the end of my week - having discovered a tricky zig-zag street path that avoids sudden and desperate inclines, endearingly called "the Wiggle" - I stumbled upon this group of impromptu musicians by the Conservatory of Flowers. The hodgepodge seemed iconic of GGPark, including various percussion instruments, a flute, harmonica, man on a sax, middle aged tech-industry guy letting his wild side out with maracas, a handmade pseudo-Chinese string instrument, an electric guitar duck-taped to a portable amp, a woman that no one knew but who wanted so badly to dance, and to the left a very old man enjoying his hash and his mop-puppy.

Fun fact: The Conservatory was purchased and brought to CA by the one and only James Lick - the hit-and-miss piano maker, romantic, trouble-maker business man of the 19th century, and financier of the Lick Observatory on Mt. Hamilton - who had originally meant for the structure to be built near his eccentric mansion in San Jose, but then left it on the docks for a nearly a decade until he died. Now we have it.

Furious cabbies

Over one hundred taxis encircled San Francisco City Hall today in a long chain through the Civic Center. I made my way back to the office through cabbies wailing on their horns and protesters angrily displaying obscure signs. They blocked intersections, bus lines and pedestrians from passing, damning the whole area to gridlock while locals and tourists grew evermore upset.

But why? I had just walked through the park square only 30 minutes ago and it was warm and tranquil. The masses on the steps of City Hall now seemed to be wielding unrelated banners, including bright yellow signs for "Ross Mirkarimi for Sheriff", "Miller 4 San Francisco Mayor", "Unions bite back", the generic "Si se puede" posters in various colors, the more obscure " نعم نستطيع " and dozens of 8.5x11 papers with illegible black and white block text covering the entire sheet. Whatever the initial catalyst, the arrival of Sal Castaneda and his posse of reporters appeared to draw people out of the woodwork with something to say to the cameras. 

But the taxis, why so many taxis?! Since San Francisco has maybe a dozen to begin with, the looping mass of yellow, white and green cabs seemed improbable. No one could explain what the fuss was about, until one woman in the security line at City Hall said simply "MTA. It's MTA, and me. They're basically here for me." She walked away toward the elevators, leaving behind her a cloud of ominous-ness.

I later learned  that the Cabs were protesting a Board of Supervisors meeting, in which the BoS was debating the new MTA regulations that would waive a rule prohibiting cab companies to recover the 5% surcharge per credit card payment from drivers, thus transferring the cost. A 5% fee may not sound like much on its face, but it comes with responsibilities to maintain digital screens and hardware - and on top of that, there are no taxis for hire in San Francisco today. So it is, de facto, a big deal.

For a Full story and explanation of the issue, this San Francisco Sentinel article gives a good summary.

Things people don't tell you about "City Life"

• It's not possible to get rid of fruit flies.
• Doing your laundry regularly will break your bank. Since when does a wash cycle that holds half of your darks cost $2.50??
• Dress shoes (and all shoes) do not last long against 4 miles of pavement each day.
• It is absolutely possible to find any manner of "ethnic cuisine" within 6 miles of any point in San Francisco.
• When people say "excuse me" and a) don't immediately pass you, and b) are not holding a map or fanny pack, it's usually best to walk away (this based on statistically significant findings). I'm still having trouble with this one.
• Traffic signals can be useful recommendations for pedestrians and vehicles, but no more than that. If you live near a large traffic signal, however, it can serve the additional purpose of colorful dance lighting in your living room.
• Dancing on the center dividers of busy commercial streets is really no big deal, but you are not allowed to dance in MUNI buses or railcars. Hypocrites!
• "People on the bus" can be an incredible source of endless entertainment, but you must be equipped with earbuds or large headphones at all times; small headphones do not work, and books (hah, books....yeah right) are only to be read when qualifying earphones are available. They must be easily accessible and able to be fitted within no more than 5 seconds, as this is the longest break you will ever experience in a conversation you do not want to be having on MUNI. It's also become apparent that the other end of the earphones do not need to be plugged into anything in particular, but if your trickery is revealed to your new-found BFF, you best be getting off the bus lickity-split.
• Night Owl MUNI buses run time trials through the Richmond District. If there are less than 5 individuals on a given bus after 1am, a 25mph speed limit is really a 60mph speed limit, and hills, stop signs or other bus stops are only obstacles to the finish that deserve no attention.
  
• There are coyotes in Golden Gate Park and they eat small animals. Reportedly, they got bored with the people in Marin and decided to walk across the GG Bridge awhile back. Having found plenty of garbage cans and squirrels, and no competition from the local raccoon population, they decided to stay in town and enjoy their newfound dominance on the top of the food chain. Now when they get deported, they just cross the bridge again AND THEY DON'T EVEN PAY THE TOLL!
• Never ever expect it to be hot; but when it is, San Franciscans will freak out and fight each other. Symptoms include a general 40-pt drop in IQ among drivers, excessive testosterone for everyone, shouting arguments about philosophical theories between the homeless and businessmen, and an immediate tripling of "The end is nigh" signs on Market Street. Everyone seems to be happiest with the high 60s - so for the love of God, get your ass into the carbon market America!
• It's surprisingly easy to find people who work for local government, to the point of paranoia. We seem to be everywhere, and with 26,000 City employees, we really are.
  
• Don't mess with the bearded homeless guy.